Be Happy Now!

You’ve could probably sing along with the song, 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. It’s one of those tunes that even if you don’t think you know it, when it’s played you go ‘oh, THAT one…’ and you realise you do in fact remember it.

It’s a catchy way of conveying the message that no matter what, you can still choose to be happy.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful - it's also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from life's stresses – especially as stress is now proven as a link to many life threatening deceases such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

As I'm sure you're aware, happiness is a choice, and as I've discovered having worked with many thousands of people; the quality of your journey towards whatever it is you want to achieve can so often be a prime factor of whether or not you do in fact achieve your goal. So, it's not just about the destination, but about how you get there - your journey.
 
Follow the link here for a simple step-by-step checklist to Be Happy Now. 

Failure To Launch

How many times do we try a new idea before we give up?

In recent research author and expert on goal setting Brian Tracy, found that the average is less than once!

The process is as such:

1. We have a great idea.
2. We get really excited about the potential and how brilliant our idea is.
3. We sleep on it.
4. Next day we wake up in a different frame of mind. Gone is the enthusiasm, replaced instead with niggling self-doubt type questions always guaranteed to extinguish even the best dream or brilliant idea; 'who am I to think I could do that/don't be so stupid/I can't do that/people will laugh/I'm not good enough-intelligent enough-brave enough' (delete as necessary), or the ultimate, 'it's impossible'!

Says who?

Follow the link here (to my website) and find out the easy step-by-step approach to achieving the brilliant ideas and dreams I know you have in life. Because once you start, you'll want to achieve more and have more ideas and bigger dreams (it's called 'the snowball effect).

As Donald Trump once said, 'if you're going to dream, you may as well dream big'!

Follow the link here now.

Peter Mandelson Next England Coach!

Oh, joy...wouldn't it be funny/wonderful/scary/strange!

Mind you, how different is the life of a politician to the life of a football coach - or the life of a footballer, business manager, CEO of an oil company, entrepreneur...?

Following on from my last blog about the role communication played for the winners and losers in the World Cup 2010, it's been amazing reading  former Labour Business Secretary Peter Mandelson's autobiography excerpts in The Times. Whilst politics seems a world away from the football, actually it's pretty similar.

You'll remember I suggested Spain seemed to go into last Sunday's final intending to win, whereas The Netherlands intended not to lose - only a small difference, though it was the difference that made the difference in the match, especially for the team that finally won.

Whilst Peter Mandelson's memoirs are very much his own account and from his point of view, what he says loud and clear is how Tony Blair wanted to be Prime Minister and run the country - and whether we agreed with him or not, he always spoke of a 'higher purpose'. He was known for being courteous and inspirational, a good leader to work for and with. Gordon Brown on the other hand, wanted Tony Blair to not be Prime Minister - to the point, the book suggests, that it became his obsession. Whilst speaking publicly of high morals and integrity, he was also famously know for being abusive, difficult, and with a temper like no other.

Now look at the results of both political careers; Tony Blair won 3 General Elections, even when there was an unpopular war and the media disliked his relationship with 'spin'. Gordon Brown on the other hand, was never actually elected leader of the Labour Party, and when he did face a General Election, he lost.

In NLP it's suggested there are two basic forms of motivation; pain and pleasure - if something is uncomfortable enough we'll strive to move away from it, and equally if something is attractive enough we'll work well to move toward it.

In life it's usually a balance between the two positions. However, whilst 'pain' is a potent motivation in the short term, 'pleasure' will always win through. Why? Because for the longer game to succeed there needs to be that light at the end of the tunnel.

A good question to ask yourself in your business and personal life is: 'what game am I playing? Is it the one to win, or the one to not lose'?

The difference can make all the difference.

Oh, and Peter Mandelson for England coach? Not really. Let's stick with Fabio Capello - whilst the England team had a terrible World Cup, Capello has a great philosophy, one that will support him throughout, and that's to win.

Playing To Win

I've got World Cup withdrawal symptoms this week! No more late afternoon and early evening games to watch on TV or with friends in the pub...

I look at football through two sets of eyes; the first as a football supporter, and the second as a Performance Coach and Trainer noticing the different kinds of games, including mental games, that the teams and players play before, during and after matches.

One of the founding beliefs of NLP & Coaching is that in life we do tend to get what we focus on most - meaning if we focus on what we don't want that's just what we get, and if focus on what we do want we're also more likely to achieve that instead.

Basically, what we believe will cause us to make slight adjustments to the task in hand, and that can lead to us achieving what we focused on. This core belief is a big one to swallow, because it suggests we have and should take responsibility for the life we create and the results we achieve.

Football is an brilliant microcosm of human life, from personal achievement, the power of beliefs, friendships, loyalty, and of course group dynamics which are the same from school to the boardroom...and the football field.

England captain Steven Gerrard commenting before Germany beat his team 4-1; 'Germany are very strong...they are very quick...they will be very difficult to beat' (and they were).

Italy, previous World Cup champion's early departure in the group stages prompted this from their manager, 'I knew we would lose...I saw we had fear in our eyes'.

France, again recent champions, were in conflict with their manager and themselves and again left the competition at the first stage.

Conversely, Germany's top goal scorer Klose commented after beating England, 'I knew we'd win after 4 minutes of the game because each of them were playing individually, for themselves, yet we were a unit, a whole, a team'.

So to the World Cup final, Spain versus The Netherlands. Spain, renowned for playing 'beautiful, passing football', and The Netherlands for being the most solid 'unit' their country had produced in many years. Both teams had played some amazing football leading up to the final, and thankfully at this years World Cup it seemed the best two teams had made it to the last game - what a show it would be!

I watched the game, jammed into a pub in central London, one of a television audience of more than 20 million people in the UK alone - I couldn't have left even if I'd have wanted to.

But what happened next was intriguing, in that the two teams played different games; in that Spain played to win in their usual 'passing' style, and The Netherlands played to stop them. A coaching interpretation would have been that Spain wanted to win, whereas The Netherlands's didn't want to lose. Only a slight shift in attitude, yet small shifts can make the biggest difference.

What resulted was a game where more offences were committed than any World Cup final before. Players were pulled and pushed over, headlocks were used, legs were kicked without any intention to get the ball, and even a full on kung fu style kick to a player's chest (which has possibly resulted in broken ribs) was caught on camera.

Even the Dutch fans in the pub became quiet and booed the kung fu kick from their own team player. It was sad. The Dutch team we watched in the final didn't look anything like the team we'd loved up until that point in the competition.

Thankfully, Spain didn't panic and kept playing, and passing, as they always do. The goal, when it came 2 minutes from the end of extra time, was a relief. Going into the game, whilst supporting Spain, I didn't mind who won, because they were both great teams. But by the end I was so happy the better, more positive team did finally win through.

So, what can we learn from this? And what can I take away that I can use in presentations and workshops(?)...because, if anyone thinks this was 'just a football game' is kind of missing the point. Spain and The Netherlands could have been Apple and Microsoft, BA and Virgin Atlantic, job applicant 'a' and job applicant 'b'. The questions to ask yourself are;

1. What's my game (as Stephen Covey once said, 'if you're going to climb a ladder, at least first make sure it's leaning against the right wall')?
2. Am I playing to win, or am I playing to not lose?
3. Am I doing what I love to do, because...

...when interviewed after being crowned champions of the world, Spanish captain and goalkeeper, Iker Casillas put it in a nutshell when he said, 'of course we love to win, yet it's not just about winning, it's about enjoying the game, and we just love to play football.'

People Who Do Business

Today I've been setting up the next step in what I offer on my websites as a Business Leadership Coach, and it's a series of regular teleseminar interviews called 'People Who Do Business'.

Each week I'll be talking with people in business, finding out what they do, how they do what they do so well, and what nuggets of wisdom they might offer you.

Stephen Covey suggests our knowledge has a half shelf life of 2 years. What he means is that unless we keep adding value and knowledge to whatever it is we bring to the world, within 2 years up to half of what we know today will become redundant and out of date.

That's a harsh realisation I know, but true nonetheless. The reality is that the world is evolving at such an incredible pace. For you as a business person - and everyone IS a business person, whether you are employed, self employed, a business owner, student, home mom or dad, or looking for work, because YOU are the product you ultimately bring to the world.

So now you should be asking yourself a question:

• what am I committed to doing right now and in the future to make sure I'm up-to-date and relevant?

Ideas can be all shapes and sizes; from starting a charity/opening your own innovative business/developing a new product to help people...to getting more computer skills/learning a 2nd language/writing that book you've always promised yourself. You'll know what it is you need to do.

Whatever it is for you, make sure it's labeled 'fun' and a 'stretch' in equal measure - it's how we grow as people.

For me, one of the ideas I want to bring to you is my new 'People Who Do Business' calls. They're coming soon, and already I have a world renowned jeweler, a marketing expert, a Law of Attraction strategist, and a multi-millionaire entrepreneur lined up.

More news to come very soon!

Body Language at Work

You can always use body language as a key to success in your work.

Indeed, this is one of the major areas I work with both personal and business clients in.

Whilst there are different forms of communication, such as words, tone of voice, and body language, for this time I want to look at what you can do to make the biggest impression first, and that's with body language.

In research often quoted in NLP, communication has been measured to have the following impact (and for fellow NLP'ers out there, I know there's a whole debate in itself about this):

• 7% are the words that you use – a small percentage, though still vitally important.
• 38% is in the tone of your voice – you may have heard the phrase, 'it's not what you say, it's the way you say it'.
• 55% is accounted for in body language – or as I say when training, 'looking like you mean it'.

Appropriate Body Language during an Interview, Meeting or Presentation

Whilst some say that job interviews can be a nerve-racking experience, by following just a few simple steps, no matter how you're feeling inside, you can be sure your body language will be stating 'super confident, I'm the one for the job!'

Try some of these gestures and body movements during job interviews and notice the difference:

• A firm handshake indicates confidence. Relax on the chair provided for you, but do not slouch. Slouching reflects laziness. Keep your heap up, and lean slightly forward – it say's 'I'm interested.' Place your hands on your lap, and never in your pocket. The hands-in-pocket gesture signifies nervousness, boredom, and dishonesty. As much as possible, do not cross your legs, hands or arms unless your interviewer does, and then don't copy them immediately, but after a few moments. If crossing your legs would help calm your nerves, do so with your body pointed towards the direction of the interviewer. During the conversation, make sure you maintain eye contact to show your interest and eagerness to listen. This does not mean STARE THEM OUT, but for the most part maintain gentle eye contact.

Art of Animation

• Make use of your hands to punctuate or emphasize what you are saying. You will appear stiff if your hands stay on your lap during the entire period of the interview. Hand gestures signify you are honest and knowledgeable of what you are talking about. You can do this while sitting or standing. During a presentation, move around, but walk slowly. The greatest presenters are those who can speak confidently with the right timing of body movements and gestures.

Gestures and Movements to Avoid

 The wrong gestures, done consciously or unconsciously, could give the wrong impression to your boss/potential boss, co-workers, or clients. These may be the reason you get fired! Therefore, you must avoid the following acts of body language:

• Avoid pointing a finger at somebody, especially your boss. Even when you are angry or trying to emphasize a detail pointing simply inflames the situation.
• In meetings, refrain from showing signs of boredom and lack of interest. These signs include arms crossed over the chest, eyes on objects other than the person talking or the presentation itself, yawning, signing, drumming the fingers on the table, or tapping your foot.

Signs That You Are Not Doing a Good Job

If you are the presenter in a meeting or an applicant in a job interview, you must observe the body language of your audience as well. Reading their actions and movements could aid you to be aware of their reactions and if you are doing well.

You would detect if the other party is getting bored if their focus of attention is not on you. This is evident by the absence of eye contact. Observe their hands as well. Even if their eyes are on you, but their hands are busy, it may mean they are thinking of something else. See if their fingers are playing with their pen or drumming on the surface of the table. Boredom is also indicated when the person in front of you begin to slouch back into their chair.

Signs of opposition to your ideas and opinions are also determined when the other party crosses their arms, wrinkle their forehead, and tilt their head.

However, the signs above sometimes do not reflect how someone really feels. What is important is that you know how to prepare yourself in critical times at the workplace.

Remember, whilst we 'read the signs' of how well our communication is being received mostly by body language, we only still have ownership of our own actions. So, if you are not getting the results you want during interviews, or the engagement of delegates during a presentation, the question you need to ask yourself is, 'what am I going to do differently now/next time to get a better result?'