Take Every Opportunity

You'll be happy to know I finally got a flight after the original one was cancelled due to snow at Heathrow on the 22nd, and flew to Las Vegas on Sunday 26th, and LA yesterday 29th December.

Whilst I'm busy here cramming 2 weeks into one, someone did remind me of some wise words once spoken by the lovely Cameron Diaz - 'Your regrets aren't what you did, but what you didn't do. So, take every opportunity.'

Wise words indeed with which to look back on your achievements of 2010, and what you now aim to complete in 2011.

How will you make 2011the most special, sensational of your life yet?

My New Year newsletter goes out on the 1st January, complete with a FREE New Year, New You exercise. If you're not subscribed yet follow the link here, fill out your email address in the blue box on the right side of my home page, and it'll find it's way to you.

Building A Powerful Team

The significance of powerful teams, communicating freely and at the highest level, is essential in order to succeed in today’s business world. For some, an effective and valuable team structure can be difficult to achieve, especially for businesses still feeling the after effects of the recent world downturn.

Coaching programs can help you focus on important issues such as enhancing creativity, using all of your resources, improving communication skills, surmounting employee resistance, encouraging positive change and exchange, and increasing business productivity.
(Read more)

Making A Drama Out of A Crisis

I was due to fly to the US on Tuesday, though my flight was cancelled as part of the terrible mess that was BAA's handling of just a few inches of snow at London Heathrow Airport last Friday.

Now, I'm a pretty calm, 'let's see what we can do with this', kind of man. However, after spending 6 hours in telephone calls and queuing systems over the past couple of days, I can honestly say I have experienced some of the most extreme highs and lows of customer service skills imaginable.

As a communications coach, I work with people and teams in businesses wanting to improve the way they interact with each other and their customers.

By far, the best service has been whilst communicating with hotels and airlines in the US. They usually answer a call within a couple of minutes, including routing it to the right person. Once connected, they are courteous, attentive, and empathetic, trying to fix the issue or help find another person that can.

This is excellent customer care when it's most needed.

Compare this to the 2 UK travel companies and the insurance company I've also been attempting to speak with. The quickest queuing time was 45 minutes, only to be disconnected by the operator half way through my first sentence to explain the reason for my call. Other waiting times have been 55 minutes and 75 minutes - all at national 10p per minutes rates!

Once connected, I've heard comments such as:

• 'There's nothing I can do'
• 'It's not my department'
• 'I can't help you'
• 'I know, it's terrible - so what do you expect me to do about it?'

Combine this with the worst of all communication; complacency, sarcasm, and just pain being uninterested in their job and in helping the customer.

THIS IS TERRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

UK companies - if any of you are reading this please take note, this is bad customer service. It doesn't have to be like this. Some companies invest in the best staff, and in training their staff to provide excellent service, especially when it's needed by the customer.

What have your experiences been of customer service skills during the Christmas travel period?

UK Travel Chaos - Keeping The Customer Informed

Travel chaos has again blighted plans for many thousands of people in the UK and throughout Europe due to heavy snow fall, though it must be said that for the most part disruption overseas has been caused by UK airports not being able to cope with the weather.

At the beginning of this year I was delayed for 6 hours at Oslo airport on a flight from Tokyo to London. Oslo, whilst having far more snow and colder temperatures, was operating normally, whereas London once again had huge problems.

There seem to be two issues BAA and the Government need to address, the first;  how to keep major UK airports running when adverse weather happens – which in comparison with so many other major airports around the world, the UK seems less prepared to deal with.

The second, and as a Communications Coach one close to my heart, is lack of good quality communication. (read more)

Communication For Successful Businesses

Having effective communication in the workplace is necessary for any type of productivity for a business, particularly coming out of a recession.

However, many companies choose to avoid implementing an effective communication strategy, and this can be where some can make their biggest mistake.

Management in a company needs to face communication square in the eye, by implementing ongoing support and training that will encourage employees, and management, to learn how to communicate better. This is one of the times when short term investment creates long term benefits and growth.

As a business coach, I help prepare communication strategies that work best for individual companies. One of the first ways that communication can become successful is when management itself sets good examples of communication for employees to emulate. (read more)

The Importance of Being Congruent

I was devastated by the news from Zurich yesterday, that England had not won the nomination to stage FIFA's 2018 World Cup tournament.

My first reaction was sadness, which then - as I'm sure it did with other England supporters - turned to anger at the voting procedures within FIFA, and now this morning the realisation that the British media, and the bid team also played their part in the failed bid.

Being 'On Brand'
Being 'on brand' at all times is essential in business. The higher the stakes, the clearer the message needs to be at all times. In competitive industries, and football is one of the most competitive industries, if there is deviation from the core message, miss-communication, damage limitation, and sometimes meltdown occurs.

Learning today that the England bid received only 2 of the 22 member votes tells us that even though we implemented brilliant damage limitation after a catalogue of 'own goals' throughout the two year process, ultimately the miss-messaging caused a meltdown in that only our own FIFA representative and one other felt convinced enough to vote for the England bid.

The brilliant Andy Paterson Jones, of New England branding consultancy, whom I'm working with for my own site upgrade to be launched early next year, says being 'on brand' at all times is imperative to succeed in business. (read more)

It's Coming Home

Tomorrow is a big day for many football supporters around the world, as it's the day FIFA, soccer's governing body, reveal the two winning bids of countries chosen to host the 2018 and 2022 World Cup.

We in England are excited, as even though our bid has recently been navigating choppy waters - meaning we made a few mistakes and scored a few 'own goals' along the way - indications are that our bid is back on track to host the event in 2018.

BBC news coverage today made interesting listening for me as a football supporter, and especially as a Business Communication Coach and Trainer.

Great emphasis was placed on the fact Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin has announced he will not attend tomorrow's ceremony, having previously saying he would only attend if certain Russia would be chosen as 2018 hosts. TV analysts are now frantically trying to figure out if this means Russia is no longer a favourite.

Sebastian Coe, himself part of the bidding team in Zurich with Prince William, David Beckham and UK Prime Minister David Cameron, gave an interesting perspective based on his own success leading London's successful bid for the 2012 Olympic games.

He emphasised the importance of having a clear, focused, and well understood bid. To test it out constantly that the message is getting through, and that the central theme keep being repeated. Finally, he suggested the pivotal 30 minute presentation given by our representatives to the FIFA committee tomorrow must be an Oscar winning performance by each and every one.

I loved his insight. He speaks with the experience of someone who got it right.

This message also applies throughout politics, business, commerce, and of course with international markets. Sport, on so many levels, mirrors and is an allegory of how life is, and the lessons we can learn from it.. At a time when economies are still verging on panic mode, it's important to be clear in what we want, what is right, what we will do, and the reasons we will do it.

Panic and insecurity set in when that communication is lost or somehow not clear.

I wish England success in Zurich tomorrow.

Football is coming home.

How To Build Employee Motivation

It's really important when it comes to nurturing and growing staff, companies don't cut corners and imagine employees will put a plan of action together for their own self growth, but take responsibility and invest in their people.

One of the roles of a business coach is to make changes to the way your business operates from a person point of view. An important aspect of the coaching process is to incite employee motivation.

Indeed, it can prove a costly mistake to focus simply on a clear vision and strategies for business success without considering how your also grow the people within your business. Successful businesses take steps to ensure that they have a strong business strategy but many times they get stuck in a rut and equally their employees get stuck in the same rut with them, too.

A qualified business coach can teach you and your employees how to develop new strategies that are not only going to improve productivity but also going to make everyone feel as though they are working as team player, for the same side. (read more)

Why?

When training new coaches, I suggest they take 'why' questions out of their repertoire, at least for a while, and only to put them back in when they know how to use them more sparingly, with greater effect. This is also true for most of us, in that we ask 'why' far too much because:

1. It's one of those easy, over used questions we ask when we can't think of a better question.

2. 'Why' questions usually emanate from childhood - can you remember asking an adult 'why, why, why, why...' before finally they replied tersely 'just because'? As an adult, we should use a broader range of questioning techniques, such as 'what/how/when' that invite a broader answer.

3. Asking a 'why' question can often prompt a justification type answer from the other person. There are times in life when having to justify ourselves is relevant, however in normal, relaxed conversation 'why' can put someone on the defensive, having to justify, when that was needed.

'Why', whilst being a small word, is very strong, and as such should be treated with respect and only used when truly needed. One such time, when 'why' can be a brilliant catalyst for understanding, growth and change, is in business planning. (more)

Business Coaching: Helping Business Out of Recession

The effects of economic recession have been intense on businesses around the world, making it tough for businesses of all sizes to succeed and in many cases even keep their head above water.

Still, there are many businesses that have managed to come out of the recession untouched. However, these are the businesses that have found new and innovative methods of fighting the recession.

One of these innovative resources is hiring a business coach to help them learn new coping skills and find creative solutions to their business problems.

During a recession businesses need to do a reality check and find opportunities to make their business run more effectively and efficiently in all areas.

A qualified business coach can helps a client recognize that it’s not just the managers in a company who need to change the way they approach the business, but employees at all levels need to modify their way of thinking so that everyone benefits from the coaching process (more)

Hello World, Welcome Universe

I'm a big believer in karma, what I refer to as 'the law of the universe'. You must have heard the phrases, 'what goes around comes around', 'what you give is what you get', and from The Bible, 'as you sow, so you shall reep'.

For me, it's just the way it is. Never 'a trade' - the universe is smarter and more subtle than that.

Some of the best business advice I was given years ago was that 'we'll never be as successful by ourselves as we could have been working with other people'. When I heard that, my questions changed. From then on I asked who could I work with and contribute to?

Once I got clear, I got in touch, and the rest as they say, is history. In a very short time my whole business life took the first of many giant leaps forward.

An idea that follows this, and that I share when training (I did an event for coaches this weekend in London), is that once we find our 'flow', so the universe will offer extra opportunities and adventures along the way. Whether they were there all along and we simply didn't notice before, or they are indeed new opportunities now, is unimportant. The point is; they are there.

Ask yourself the following questions - they're designed to help:

1. To what degree would you say you're working within your 'flow' now?
2. What could you do to get or increase that alignment this week?
3. Who do you imagine is in a similar flow, and how can you contribute to their experience?

...and if you're wondering if this can work in business, THIS IS BUSINESS!

Wishing you a fabulous week.

Mind Feed

I remember reading what American real estate mentor Russ Whitney meant by the term 'mind feed' a few years ago.

Basically, as we feed our body with the most balanced and nutritional diet we can, as that (along with other components such as keeping fit, etc) will have an effect on the quality of life and energy we then enjoy. So, with mind feed it's the same premise: how and with what we feed our mind will have a direct impact to the quality of life, and success, we experience.

As a trainer, I mention books, educational and motivational DVDs and movies, quality conversation, debate, travel - the list is endless.

Workshops are a great way to feed the mind, as on the one hand they stimulate with the content, and also stretch because we can often be at a workshop with other people we didn't previously know. Since we humans are sociably creatures, this is one of the main, added bonus factors of why workshops work so well.

Today I'm attending Triumphant Event's 'Unleash Your Power of Influence' with speakers including YoSushi founder Simon Woodroffe, and Coco De Mer founder, Sam Rodick.

Will give you an overview of the day's events later.

In he meantime, have a great day, and be aware of how you need to fed your mind today!

Who's Story Is It Anyway?

Do you remember your first date?

Did the other person talk about themselves all the time - how great they are, how they feel, what they think, what tricks they'd taught their pet, where they live, what an amazing holiday they went on last summer, them, them, them, yawn, yawn, yawn and so on? And you thought, 'Stop! Enough!!'

How was the 2nd date? There wasn't one?! What a surprise...

Following on from the last few blog posts, I want you to consider how you communicate when networking or selling your service/product? Do you, even inadvertently, end up talking about yourself and your services to the point when you leave you can't even remember what the other person said/did or why they were there?

It's easy to do. When nervous or in a new environment one safety mechanism is to switch into story telling mode - our story; what I call our 'yada, 'yada, yada'.

Feeling special is a basic human need. So how special do you think listening to you, you, you all night makes someone else feel? And to be more specific, is the 'yada, yada, yada' approach more, or less likely to result in a new quality contact, lead or sale?

A better approach to have when networking is the 'I want to find out about you, you, you'.

During this week's blog posts I'll be looking at how you can develop this more successful approach and implement it in your real life networking situations.

Wishing you a great week ahead.

Tactics for Surviving the Recession and Thriving In Business

No matter how much we may wish it were otherwise, the reality is that the economy is still only bumping along, barely out of recession.

This means that not only you, but your employees also, may well be worried and concerned about what the short to medium term future holds.

As a business coach, I’m finding that people and their companies are increasingly employing me to help them build a strategy, which very much involves planning for ‘life after recession’, and making sure their company emerges intact and able to flourish.

What follows are a few tactics and tips business coaching can bring and that can give your business the boost it needs. Click here to read the full article.

6 Top Tips For Better Networking

One of the most effective ways to build any business is to network. Whether you're a new business start-up, an entrepreneur, work in sales within a large organisation, or want to move on to 'the next level' within whatever company your in, to nurture, take time with, and grow your network will pay dividends every time.

As a BNI member, and having attended everything from Chambers of Commerce, Business Link, and many more business networking gatherings through the years, I can say that so much of my business as well as other oftentimes unexpected opportunities have come my way via nurturing good relationships.

Here are my 6 top tips for better networking. See how well they work with you. Some may be better suited than others for your situation. Once you've given them a run, let me know how they worked for you.

1. Be ready to engage with regular AND new contacts. Get yourself in your networking 'zone' before you arrive. It's better to be saying 'I'm really looking forward to this', rather than 'I'm just not in the mood this week'. Only be there if you genuinely want to be.
2. Have an objective; what do you want to leave the event having achieved or saying to yourself?
3. Keep body language open and engaged, e.g. open groups of 2's and 3's, arms unfolded, agreeing, interested gestures will encourage others to come join you. Closed huddles with someone you feel safe with will discourage others to interact.
4. Give a 'flavoured' answer. When someone asks how you are, never reply with a simple 'fine/okay/good/bad/so so' etc. These replies are at best conversation closers - they give very little for the other person to hook on to. A more flavourful answer would be 'fabulous/amazing/oh my gosh/oh yes, and so much more' (with body language to match). Because your feeling is amplified and isn't the usual 'okay' or 'could be better' it'll cause the other person's body language to match, and they'll want to find out what you meant by that.
5. Have easily accessible business cards. No business cards...still at the printers...don't believe in them? Then don't be there!  This is networking, so be professional and have easily accessible business cards to give away freely.
6. Wear your name tag! A name tag is to make it easier for you to be approached by others - believe it or not the other person might be even more nervous about saying 'hello' than you! Wear you name tag with pride.

Knowing If Your Glass Is Half Full, Or Half Empty

Talking as I do with many people in businesses large and small it's always interesting to notice the correlation between the state of their business and their state of mind, or to be more exact, their point of view.

Whilst external reality, what's happening in the greater world (business, economy, social issues) is for the most part a fact, how we choose to deal with that reality is completely up to us. This is where having a 'glass half full', or 'glass half empty' attitude can make such a difference on the results you enjoy.

Writer Stephen Covey, in his book '7 Habits of Highly Effective People', refers to these areas as our 'circle of influence' and 'circle of concern' - one we have ownership of and can change, the other for the most part, we can't. People with a glass half empty point of view are probably spending the majority of their time in the 'circle of concern' and consequently expending their energy on things they probably can't change.

Redressing the balance to spend the majority of your time in your 'circle of influence' will put you in a far more 'can do' frame of mind. Former statements such as 'can't change this' become questions like 'what else can I do about this?' A more empowering place to be, I'm sure you'll agree.

Sneak Preview of New eProgramme

I'm very excited as the artwork for my new eProgramme 'Make Life Work - The Art of Epic Thinking' is now complete, and I wanted you to be the first to see it!!

The programme is just going through final proofing and will be launched in the next few days.

It'll be my most in depth programme to date, and runs to more than 160 pages containing the latest cutting edge concepts in Performance Coaching, Time Line and NLP designed to Make Life Work in the best way you want it to.

In short, it's a blueprint for success.

There will be two options to choose:

1. The eProgramme as a 'study-at-home' resource.
2. The eProgramme plus a personal 90 minute coaching session - telephone or face-to-face (in London) to really hit the ground running.

More info in the next day or two, and of course links to my site when the programme is ready for you to download.

Wishing you a brilliant day!

'Yes We Can, but...' (Part 2)

In America, it's the morning after the night before. All the people, including the President are waking up to a new political reality, one that will affect all of them and the wider world beyond.

With a new political landscape comes a fresh opportunity, to work together.

Thinking back to President Obama's campaign for the Oval Office, one message rang out as the banking crisis and economic gloom beckoned; the need for consensus and dialogue throughout politics..

Whilst that really didn't happen, what comes now with the House of Representatives becoming majority Republican, is a new mandate from the people; for both parties to communicate.

For all President Obama's obvious ability as a speaker able to inspire a nation, he has also earned the mantle of appearing aloof and indecisive with his contemporaries.

Let's hope now he, his government and the Republicans can learn to communicate for the greater good.

As an optimist, I believe they can and will.

'Yes We Can, But...'

For such a savvy President, who only two years ago utilized the power of modern communication via social media, demonstrating a refreshing ability to tap into the collective mood of a nation and explain complex issues simply, Barack Obama has stuffed up big time!

Even his greatest election phrase, 'yes we can', has now become a moment of ridicule, when quoting his recent comment, 'yes we can, but...'

This is very sad. The President promised a clean slate with the passed, a recent history many Americans and those in the wider world wanted to leave behind. Now, it seems many Americans are considering parting with this new direction, even though only two years into this new term, a one term lame duck Presidency seems more than a possibility.

As an NLP & Coach Trainer, I work in the area of communication - often called in to a company to figure out what is really going on.

And the reality is quite common to many companies & leaders in this present age; whilst there have never been so many opportunities to engage with and motivate using media of all kinds, knowing what to say, and crucially how to say it well seems to have been left by the wayside.

Clean language, saying it the way you want it, is essential - in business and in politics. Check out my article 'Clean Language' to get a better idea by clicking here.

Finally, if any of you know the President, he would thank you for buying him a copy of one of my most successful online courses, 'Communication Skills Upgrade - Saying It The Way You Want It'.

Available for only £24.97 (that's around $40US), reading it really could have turned around his campaign quicker than saying 'tea party'!

If you want to get the course now click here.

By-the-way, a simple technique President Obama could have used to avoid the corruption of his 'yes we can' phrase would have been if he'd have said, 'yes we can, and...'. One word would have made ALL the difference.

How Well Do You Listen?

As a coach & business trainer one of the most important skills to develop is level three listening skills. As a business owner and networker, you also need to have brilliant listening skills, including level three listening, simply because you will hear, and be heard more - and with those skills you will be able to identify and provide an even better quality of business.

• Level 1 listening is where you simply have a conversation, listening to the other person only enough for you to then continue saying what you want to say, or sell what you want to sell. In level one listening, you attach your own meaning to what they are saying.

• Level 2 listening requires you to actually listen to the other person and respond to their worries, points of view and outlook on the world. With level two listening, you ask for clarification - what they mean by what they've just said.

• Level 3 is where you are not only ‘plugged in’ to what they are saying, but also listening for clues as to what they are not saying. Levels 1 & 2 give you the opportunity to address what is brought to the table in a conversation, and level 3 enables you to understand what may not have been said.

Quick steps to develop level 3 listening

1. ALWAYS begin conversation in level 1, and move through level 2 and towards level 3. Never go straight for level 3 – you’ll freak the person you're speaking to out!
2. A level 1 question is the usual ‘how you doing’ introductory type question.
3. Level 2 are the clarifying questions to understand the other person better e.g: ‘Tell me what you mean by confidence/motivation/feeling flat/need encouraging’ (with level 1 listening you’d simply attach your own meaning, which might not be what they meant).
4. Level 3 is where you feed back what they’ve said, paraphrasing, and looking for agreement…or disagreement. You’re also noticing body language and tonality and checking congruency, e.g:

• ‘I’m noticing a little movement here…’
• ‘I’m sensing there’s shifting sand, am I right?’
• So, if there was a fly in the ointment right now, what would it be?’

Developing level 3 listening skills will help you understand and know more about the people you network and do business with, and most importantly, those same people will know that you really listen to them – and that will separate you from everyone else they meet.

Profiling Your Preferred Client:

Specificity is the name of the game!

It's a given that all business owners and entrepreneurs want to attract new business, but how many of them actually have a plan of action? As previously discussed on this blog and in articles on my website, having or creating a systematic approach will help you achieve more.

In developing such an approach, one of the first questions to ask yourself is: 'who do I want my future ideal client to be'? The more specific you can be with this, the more likely it will be you will attract that client towards you.

'You can't hit a target you can't see!'

A few facts to support the benefit of knowing your future preferred client(s):

• Knowing the person or the type of people you most want to meet, be introduced to, work with, and then have as your ideal client will give you the longest term, most sustainable source of business revenue.

• Statistically, 80% of the revenue we generate comes from 20% of our client base – yet many businesses instead market themselves to the 80% that will contribute only 20%.

(THIS IS TIRING, AND ULTIMATELY DEMOTIVATING!)

• Investing an hour or two over the next week to profile your ideal client will be time well spent.

Let me know what you will do NOW to highlight who you want your future ideal client to be.

SMART Business Goals

I have a phrase I usually use when training people to become coaches, and that's 'setting your client up to succeed', because if a coach can do that they also set themselves up to have a successful client.

As a business coach, I tend to work with successful business owners, executives and entrepreneurs who bring their goals to coaching. However, initial 'lightbulb' moments usually occur when clarifying how SMART those goals actually are.

To remind you, SMART goals are:

• Specific
• Measurable
• Achievable
• Realistic
• Timed

So a great, positive and relatively quick way for you to start this bright new week is to spend 15 or so minutes bringing your top 1, 2, or 3 goals to mind and asking yourself, 'are they SMART'?

If they are, that's wonderful. And of they're not, commit to spending some quality time over the next couple of days to make sure they fulfill the SMART criteria and become truly SMART goals.

Believe me, the process doesn't take long, and you'll feel extra brilliant knowing you've begun the week by setting yourself up to succeed.

Now, that's what I call smart!

Online Marketing Tips for New Business Owners

Congratulations on being a business owner! Whether your idea is still on the drawing board, at some stage of being launched, or is up-and-running – but it could be ‘running’ better, this article is for you.
As a trainer and coach, one of the areas business owners want to work on most is how they can develop a simple and effective marketing strategy - because the reality is if you have one you can expect your business to grow, and if you don’t it probably won’t.

The good news is that developing a great marketing plan can be easy, fun – and when you begin to see the results you’ll just want to do even more of it.

• Question: when should a business think about marketing?

• Answer: all the time!

Stephen Covey suggests our present knowledge has a ‘half shelf life of two years’, and by that he suggests that up to half of what we know today will become redundant within the next two years. This blows the ‘doing what you’ve always done – getting what you’ve always got’ equation out of the water.

The reality is that no matter how busy and successful you are, you should always keep an eye on developing future opportunities, because if you don’t you can be sure others’ will.

In more than 8 years being involved in Business Training and Coaching, I can say that whilst a percentage of new clients come via referral and recommendation, some will still find me and be convinced to work with me as a result of the marketing I do.

Whether you are new to business, or have been trading a while - whether you are putting together your first marketing plan, or have one already, it’s always a good idea to ask yourself ‘and what am I going to do next’.

Following are tips and ideas I use to help grow and keep my practice busy. Use the ideas that best resonate with you, since the best marketing should always be an extension of your personality.

Click here for Mike’s Marketing Tips for New Business Owners!

The David & Ed Show

If you're in the UK you've probably already had your fill of the Labour Party leadership election saga, and more particularly the soap opera that has surrounded the two Milliband brothers, David and Ed who both ran for the top job.

For those of you non-UK folks, the edited version is that whilst David was always the favourite to win, and was indeed the winner of both the Labour MPs and nationwide party members vote, the larger Union 'block' vote (many of who’s members are not actually members of the Labour party) 'swung it for Ed' as one of the tabloid newspaper quoted a Union official boasting.

Publicly, all has been sweetness, light, and brotherly love.

However, as communication is so much more than the words we say, listening to the wider message from the two siblings has been much more interesting.

David, the older and more experienced one of the two, has through his grace supported and bolstered support for his brother, even though his smile told a very different, sad story. He's the eloquent, inspirational, funny communicator with the brain of a scientist on his shoulders suddenly with very little to say, and not sure what to do.

Ed; younger, geekier, more difficult and less eloquent, stumbled over his protestations of love and support for his beaten brother.
And now what? David must decide by later today whether to stay and be a part of the now very different vision his brother will create.
The positives and negatives of the situation are almost the stuff of fiction, and I'll leave that for you to imagine and play out in your own mind.
For me, my prediction, based on the body language of both brothers, especially evident during Ed's first leader's speech yesterday is that David, graceful as ever, will not put his name forward to be part of his brother's team.
Let's see...

(Some More) Secrets Of Body Language

Body language can truly speak louder than words. Knowing this, and using this information wisely can be a real bonus in business and in business situations.

Different body parts – eyes, hands, arms, legs – can be used in different gestures, with each one having several meanings. Body language is indeed a very powerful method to communicate with other people.

Talk By Using Body Language

Even without the use of words, you can effectively send your message to another person, and that person reply to you. The capability to understand body language can help you identify one's moods, emotions, feelings, and desires.

The use of direct eye contact indicates interest, positive thinking, and sincerity. However, it could mean otherwise: mistrust, doubt, and suspicion. Lateral eye movements may mean the person is lying, or inspecting his surroundings making sure no one or everyone is listening. If one would try to recall or imagine something, he would tend to look upward. Looking down may indicate as a submission to an authority, guilt, or domination.

New eBook

In my latest up-and-coming ebook, 'Make Life Work',  I'll be giving you loads of background tips, user friendly information, not to mention many, many hands-on techniques you can use immediately to get better results in your life and work.

More info soon!

Talking Yourself Up

It's official, according to the latest research, talking to yourself is not only normal, it can also have positive effects, from strengthening a dieter's willpower to lose weight, to improving decision making.

In a study at the University of Toronto, psychologists found that when prevented from inner self talk volunteers acted more impulsively, whereas those that were allowed to mull things over and discuss internally with themselves were able to weigh up the pros and cons and make better decisions more easily.

Read article here.

Is The Juice Worth The Squeeze?

I first heard this phrase at a conference a few months ago, when keynote speaker Rob Brown used it to great effect in a room of 700 delegates.

'Is the juice worth the squeeze?'

Rob was talking from a business networking point of view; do the results your presently getting justify the time and effort you're putting in?

Because, if not then something needs to change.

It's amazing how in life, and especially in business, many of us keep doing what we've always done, even though the world and everything in it has long since moved on.

Phrases like, 'it's what I've always done/it's just the way I do things/better the devil you know/same old same old/just keep plodding on', tell the listener, 'there's noting new or exciting here.'

Input Activity = Output Results
So, thinking about the effort and energy you put into your business life, ask yourself, 'is the juice worth the squeeze'?

• Are you getting the results you want?
• Are you being heard?
• Does the world really know you exist?
• Are you making a squeak when you know you'd really like to make a noise?

If the answer to any of the above is 'no', then now would be a great time to do something about it.

September is a new season, a time to 'get back on track', refocus, lay down new plans, begin new projects, set fresh objectives - clear your throat and the call out to the world loud and clear, 'I'm hear and I exist'.

It's about setting your stall, afresh.

If the juice you've been getting is not worth the squeeze, now is the time to define what 'juice' would be.

As Stephen Covey once said, 'before climbing that ladder to success, make sure it's leaning against the right wall'.

...and before you start squeezing your fruit of success, make sure it's the kind of success you want - otherwise the juice can taste pretty sour.

Something Different

It's often said 'if you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always got'.

In business coaching, it's always a bit of an eye opener in the initial 'discovering how you do what you do' phase when I get answers like:

- 'it's what I've been doing for years.'
- 'it's just what I know.'
- 'I can't do anything else.'
- 'it was really successful...6 years ago!'
- 'Well, I'm too old to change now.'

One of the realities of business is that, over a period of time, the goal-posts move and change. Call it progress, evolution...the market getting tougher, or more opportunities coming your way - keeping your eye on the target will have a major impact on the business results your enjoy.

Ask yourself the following questions: how is you're business growing now? How were you growing it 2 years ago? Is it the same? If so, how are the results different?

Do you know if you are getting the best return on your investment - and by investment I mean everything you are and what you bring to your business; your time, emotional buy in, employees, CPD - everything? Because, if you're not getting enough, it's only a matter of time before you lose interest, give up, or even worse, fail.

To take the phrase at the beginning of this blog post to the next logical level, 'if you want to get different results, you'll have to take different actions'. It's as simple and fundamental as that, and it's where most business owners have the most challenge.

Can an old dog learn new tricks? Is it possible for a leopard to change it's spots? In business it's a must.

So, ask yourself today: 'what else can I do, or what new skills do I need to learn to enable me to do something different'?

Because at the end of the day your business success will depend on your ability to adapt and change with the demands of a changing world.

Acting Your Age

Great story today from Sir Richard Branson on how he's celebrating his 60th birthday.

Always a great role model, check out this story here

Setting Your Compass

Getting clear about you and what your goals are right now will set your inner compass.

Having this clarity will help you to navigate the challenges & storms life occasionally presents us with along the way.

That inner compass will help you manoeuvre inexorably onward towards the life you want to achieve.

Click here to read more about this fascinating area of personal development by our new Change Management Coach, Oge Okosieme.

'Make Life Work'

If you've not already subscribed to my mailing list, then now would be a good day to do so, because the latest edition of the 'Make Life Work' e-newsletter is about to go out.

This edition is crammed full of info designed for you to get even better results at work by following some pretty cool communication tips.

I'll be introducing Oge, the newest member of my team and an excellent Change Management Coach. She'll also be offering the first three readers to answer a simple question a FREE telephone coaching session - but you'll have to subscribe to get the question (and remember, this goes out to 3,000 people, so be quick)!

Finally, I'll be telling you about a very special Dragon Boat race I'm taking part in to raise money for one of my favourite charities.

Click here to subscribe now.

New Government: 100 Days of Body Language

So, the new UK government has reached it's first 100 days in office, and from a body language/communication point of view there have already been some highs points, as well as a few low points, along the way.

Whilst we could focus on what hasn't happened or what's gone wrong so far, as a coach I prefer to notice what's going well, how we could improve or learn if something didn't work out, and over all what we could do to make our lives even better. In NLP, this approach is called 'the feedback sandwich'.

For me the strongest message sent out is that today really is business as usual. Prime Minister David Cameron is happily on holiday, leaving his Deputy Prime Minister, Liberal Democrat leader, Nick Clegg to field the media with progress reports, interviews and visions for the future.

All this is very positive. It says loud and clear that these two men, trust and work very well together - and at a time when the country still nervously steps out of recession, that's a very important message to send to the country, to industry and the financial markets, and fellow trading partners in the world.

Whilst body language suggests David Cameron is still very much the leader within the coalition, the two together also show a broad consensus; two men very much at ease and working well with each other; equals.

Personally as an optimist, it's pleasing to see this meeting of minds filtering through other areas and departments of government, seeing previous political opponents now working together.

Of course, the moaners and naysayers will complain and point out the odd disagreement or potential future flash point, but for the most part British people seem relaxed, and possibly even relieved, that finally we do have a government that:

1. Is telling us how we all know it is with the economy and what the near future will look like, and
2. Is working together with regards what we must do about it.

Life isn't always easy, but with a 'can do' attitude it's always more possible.

Take a look at the BBC video montage '100 days in 100 seconds' to see what I mean. Click here to view.

Top Tips: Body Language at Work

Thanks to Jilly, Alice, Lorna and Jake who've emailed me over the past couple of days asking if I have any body language 'top tips' that will bring them better results whilst at work.

The answer is, 'yes, of course' - follow the link at the end of this Blog post and start using immediately.

Body Language and Communication Skills are the two main areas I work in professionally and have the most fun using when working with individuals and teams in organisations. So, please follow the link below and begin noticing subtle differences to the results you’re getting in life right away.

Click the link here - it's FREE, and as always let me know how you get on. You can post a reply at the end of this post, or send me an email (which I always respond to).

Climbing A Mountain...In A Wheel Chair (Update)

You'll be pleased to know the inspirational Sean McCallion has now raised £2,465 towards his sponsored wheel chair climb to the top of Ben Nevis, the UK's highest peak. This is great news as it means Sean is now half way towards his target of £5,000!

The climb will happen on September 5th, so you still have time to sponsor him - but please do it NOW whilst you remember. I appreciate life is busy and a great intention can sometimes be lost in the pace of modern life. So, please take action now. The link, for Sean's story and an opportunity to sponsor him is here.

Thank you x

Refuse The Gloom!

Watching the news this morning on the television at the gym, I found myself getting more and more angry with the way the reports just came coming out; bad news/scandal/more bad news/another scandal - we all know 'bad news sells', but this was overkill (no pun intended)!

This morning's 'biggie' covered the slight fall in house prices here in the UK. However, what followed was 10 minutes (repeated every 20 minutes or so) of endless speculation that this could be an indication of a double-dip recession.

Thankfully, Tuesday's are special, as they are the day of my BNI breakfast club meeting. That means a 5am wake-up call in order to get to the 7am meeting. BNI (Business Network International) have had a phrase over the last couple of years, in that members 'refuse to take part in the recession'. That's not to deny a recession took place, but that as business owners the question then became 'so, what are we going to do about it'.

Here's the thing; as a coach and trainer my one central message to more than 15,000 people I've worked with over the past couple of years is that we tend to get in life what we focus most on. So, if we focus on what we don't want, we'll probably get more of it. However, if we focus on what we do want, we can also expect to attract/produce more of what we do want instead. It's always a choice.

As someone who used to work in banking and mortgages before I retrained as a coach, I appreciate what's happening in the markets at the moment. But nowadays as a coach and trainer, I also see how well people are working themselves out of recession, getting those orders in, growing their shops, factories, offices and agencies. Sure, the economy is still wobbly - that's what we've elected the Government to sort out - and what we have to do in the meantime is collectively STAY POSITIVE.

So, let's refuse to take part in the gloom.

If the news is bad, bad, bad or you're not getting the results you want right now, ask yourself 'what do I want instead'? State your aim in the positive, and work towards achieving it.

And the TV news...remember to balance out all the bad news with equal, or even more, amounts of good stuff. Seek it out every day, I promise once you start looking you'll notice it everywhere.

Understanding Body Language At Work

Seems I've hit a vein, in that many people I've met over the past couple of weeks are continuing the conversation begun about the importance of good communication in modern life.

Body language is generally perceived as being 'the biggie', saying more about you than words ever could. It’s estimated body language accounts for 55% of communication. Tone of voice is 38%, and the words you use only 7%.

That’s not to say words are unimportant, however what the 55% does underline is body language can so often be ‘the difference that makes the difference’ in successful communication.

Follow the link here to my website here for to read the full article.

Saying It The Way You Want It

Saying exactly what you mean is so important in all areas of life and business. How many times have you heard yourself or somebody else saying what you/they don't want to happen?

• 'I don't want to be short of money at the end of the month'
• ‘I don’t want to lose that contract’
• ‘I don’t want to leave the company’
• ‘I don’t want my team to fall apart’
• ‘I don’t want to miss my sales target’

As a result of much research into how the human mind works, it’s generally accepted in the world of Personal Development, Business Coaching, and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), one of the characteristics of the unconscious mind (the area of the brain that runs the body; keeping you alive) is that it doesn't process negatives.

Instead, it processes them as a positive, meaning phrases like ‘I don’t want to lose that contract’ would become ‘I do want to lose that contract’, or ‘I don’t want to miss my sales target becomes, ’I do want to miss my sales target’.
(Read more)

Be Inspired

Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting a truly inspirational person at my BNI breakfast meeting.

Sean McCallion climbed Britain’s highest mountain Ben Nevis, 10 years ago. The next day he had an accident whilst snowboarding and was paralysed.

Since then he’s spent his life in a wheel chair.

However, meeting Sean is not a sad story. As i mentioned at the beginning, he's a true inspiration.

On 5th September he's going to climb Ben Nevis again, this time in a specially adapted wheelchair, and with a group of supporters around him.

He's aiming to raise £5,000 for the two charities that helped save his life and support him in the years since. They are Lochaber Mountain Rescue and the Back-Up Trust.

Please click here to read Sean's story, which I promise will inspire you, and also if you want to donate money towards his £5,000 target I'd be so grateful. Again, follow the link here.

Growing Your Business

Someone asked me the other day for any top tips I might have to grow a business, and whilst these change slightly the larger the business, for the most part I'd suggest the following routes to success.

Meet as many people in your marketplace as possible. Network, join groups and organisations, take part in forums, debates, accept invitations to presentations, and be proactive with any online marketing and social media you’re interested in.

Two great nuggets of advice I was given several years ago and by which I run my business are:

1. ‘People buy people before they buy products and services.’ This means, at some level and to a certain degree, future potential clients or buyers of your products need to ‘get’ who you are and what you/your company does first. You can build your profile face-to-face by meeting and getting to know people, plus use the Internet for regular newsletters, a Blog, Twitter, Facebook, Linked-In, etc.
2. ‘People buy from people they know, like and trust’ – and it’s the last point, ‘trust’ that can take a while, which is why being a regular networker, attender of events, speaker, or social media writer can make such a difference. Simply, when people get to know you and what you/your company does, when they need your service or product they’ll think of you rather than search out a competitor.

Be Happy Now!

You’ve could probably sing along with the song, 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. It’s one of those tunes that even if you don’t think you know it, when it’s played you go ‘oh, THAT one…’ and you realise you do in fact remember it.

It’s a catchy way of conveying the message that no matter what, you can still choose to be happy.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful - it's also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from life's stresses – especially as stress is now proven as a link to many life threatening deceases such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

As I'm sure you're aware, happiness is a choice, and as I've discovered having worked with many thousands of people; the quality of your journey towards whatever it is you want to achieve can so often be a prime factor of whether or not you do in fact achieve your goal. So, it's not just about the destination, but about how you get there - your journey.
 
Follow the link here for a simple step-by-step checklist to Be Happy Now. 

Failure To Launch

How many times do we try a new idea before we give up?

In recent research author and expert on goal setting Brian Tracy, found that the average is less than once!

The process is as such:

1. We have a great idea.
2. We get really excited about the potential and how brilliant our idea is.
3. We sleep on it.
4. Next day we wake up in a different frame of mind. Gone is the enthusiasm, replaced instead with niggling self-doubt type questions always guaranteed to extinguish even the best dream or brilliant idea; 'who am I to think I could do that/don't be so stupid/I can't do that/people will laugh/I'm not good enough-intelligent enough-brave enough' (delete as necessary), or the ultimate, 'it's impossible'!

Says who?

Follow the link here (to my website) and find out the easy step-by-step approach to achieving the brilliant ideas and dreams I know you have in life. Because once you start, you'll want to achieve more and have more ideas and bigger dreams (it's called 'the snowball effect).

As Donald Trump once said, 'if you're going to dream, you may as well dream big'!

Follow the link here now.

Peter Mandelson Next England Coach!

Oh, joy...wouldn't it be funny/wonderful/scary/strange!

Mind you, how different is the life of a politician to the life of a football coach - or the life of a footballer, business manager, CEO of an oil company, entrepreneur...?

Following on from my last blog about the role communication played for the winners and losers in the World Cup 2010, it's been amazing reading  former Labour Business Secretary Peter Mandelson's autobiography excerpts in The Times. Whilst politics seems a world away from the football, actually it's pretty similar.

You'll remember I suggested Spain seemed to go into last Sunday's final intending to win, whereas The Netherlands intended not to lose - only a small difference, though it was the difference that made the difference in the match, especially for the team that finally won.

Whilst Peter Mandelson's memoirs are very much his own account and from his point of view, what he says loud and clear is how Tony Blair wanted to be Prime Minister and run the country - and whether we agreed with him or not, he always spoke of a 'higher purpose'. He was known for being courteous and inspirational, a good leader to work for and with. Gordon Brown on the other hand, wanted Tony Blair to not be Prime Minister - to the point, the book suggests, that it became his obsession. Whilst speaking publicly of high morals and integrity, he was also famously know for being abusive, difficult, and with a temper like no other.

Now look at the results of both political careers; Tony Blair won 3 General Elections, even when there was an unpopular war and the media disliked his relationship with 'spin'. Gordon Brown on the other hand, was never actually elected leader of the Labour Party, and when he did face a General Election, he lost.

In NLP it's suggested there are two basic forms of motivation; pain and pleasure - if something is uncomfortable enough we'll strive to move away from it, and equally if something is attractive enough we'll work well to move toward it.

In life it's usually a balance between the two positions. However, whilst 'pain' is a potent motivation in the short term, 'pleasure' will always win through. Why? Because for the longer game to succeed there needs to be that light at the end of the tunnel.

A good question to ask yourself in your business and personal life is: 'what game am I playing? Is it the one to win, or the one to not lose'?

The difference can make all the difference.

Oh, and Peter Mandelson for England coach? Not really. Let's stick with Fabio Capello - whilst the England team had a terrible World Cup, Capello has a great philosophy, one that will support him throughout, and that's to win.

Playing To Win

I've got World Cup withdrawal symptoms this week! No more late afternoon and early evening games to watch on TV or with friends in the pub...

I look at football through two sets of eyes; the first as a football supporter, and the second as a Performance Coach and Trainer noticing the different kinds of games, including mental games, that the teams and players play before, during and after matches.

One of the founding beliefs of NLP & Coaching is that in life we do tend to get what we focus on most - meaning if we focus on what we don't want that's just what we get, and if focus on what we do want we're also more likely to achieve that instead.

Basically, what we believe will cause us to make slight adjustments to the task in hand, and that can lead to us achieving what we focused on. This core belief is a big one to swallow, because it suggests we have and should take responsibility for the life we create and the results we achieve.

Football is an brilliant microcosm of human life, from personal achievement, the power of beliefs, friendships, loyalty, and of course group dynamics which are the same from school to the boardroom...and the football field.

England captain Steven Gerrard commenting before Germany beat his team 4-1; 'Germany are very strong...they are very quick...they will be very difficult to beat' (and they were).

Italy, previous World Cup champion's early departure in the group stages prompted this from their manager, 'I knew we would lose...I saw we had fear in our eyes'.

France, again recent champions, were in conflict with their manager and themselves and again left the competition at the first stage.

Conversely, Germany's top goal scorer Klose commented after beating England, 'I knew we'd win after 4 minutes of the game because each of them were playing individually, for themselves, yet we were a unit, a whole, a team'.

So to the World Cup final, Spain versus The Netherlands. Spain, renowned for playing 'beautiful, passing football', and The Netherlands for being the most solid 'unit' their country had produced in many years. Both teams had played some amazing football leading up to the final, and thankfully at this years World Cup it seemed the best two teams had made it to the last game - what a show it would be!

I watched the game, jammed into a pub in central London, one of a television audience of more than 20 million people in the UK alone - I couldn't have left even if I'd have wanted to.

But what happened next was intriguing, in that the two teams played different games; in that Spain played to win in their usual 'passing' style, and The Netherlands played to stop them. A coaching interpretation would have been that Spain wanted to win, whereas The Netherlands's didn't want to lose. Only a slight shift in attitude, yet small shifts can make the biggest difference.

What resulted was a game where more offences were committed than any World Cup final before. Players were pulled and pushed over, headlocks were used, legs were kicked without any intention to get the ball, and even a full on kung fu style kick to a player's chest (which has possibly resulted in broken ribs) was caught on camera.

Even the Dutch fans in the pub became quiet and booed the kung fu kick from their own team player. It was sad. The Dutch team we watched in the final didn't look anything like the team we'd loved up until that point in the competition.

Thankfully, Spain didn't panic and kept playing, and passing, as they always do. The goal, when it came 2 minutes from the end of extra time, was a relief. Going into the game, whilst supporting Spain, I didn't mind who won, because they were both great teams. But by the end I was so happy the better, more positive team did finally win through.

So, what can we learn from this? And what can I take away that I can use in presentations and workshops(?)...because, if anyone thinks this was 'just a football game' is kind of missing the point. Spain and The Netherlands could have been Apple and Microsoft, BA and Virgin Atlantic, job applicant 'a' and job applicant 'b'. The questions to ask yourself are;

1. What's my game (as Stephen Covey once said, 'if you're going to climb a ladder, at least first make sure it's leaning against the right wall')?
2. Am I playing to win, or am I playing to not lose?
3. Am I doing what I love to do, because...

...when interviewed after being crowned champions of the world, Spanish captain and goalkeeper, Iker Casillas put it in a nutshell when he said, 'of course we love to win, yet it's not just about winning, it's about enjoying the game, and we just love to play football.'

People Who Do Business

Today I've been setting up the next step in what I offer on my websites as a Business Leadership Coach, and it's a series of regular teleseminar interviews called 'People Who Do Business'.

Each week I'll be talking with people in business, finding out what they do, how they do what they do so well, and what nuggets of wisdom they might offer you.

Stephen Covey suggests our knowledge has a half shelf life of 2 years. What he means is that unless we keep adding value and knowledge to whatever it is we bring to the world, within 2 years up to half of what we know today will become redundant and out of date.

That's a harsh realisation I know, but true nonetheless. The reality is that the world is evolving at such an incredible pace. For you as a business person - and everyone IS a business person, whether you are employed, self employed, a business owner, student, home mom or dad, or looking for work, because YOU are the product you ultimately bring to the world.

So now you should be asking yourself a question:

• what am I committed to doing right now and in the future to make sure I'm up-to-date and relevant?

Ideas can be all shapes and sizes; from starting a charity/opening your own innovative business/developing a new product to help people...to getting more computer skills/learning a 2nd language/writing that book you've always promised yourself. You'll know what it is you need to do.

Whatever it is for you, make sure it's labeled 'fun' and a 'stretch' in equal measure - it's how we grow as people.

For me, one of the ideas I want to bring to you is my new 'People Who Do Business' calls. They're coming soon, and already I have a world renowned jeweler, a marketing expert, a Law of Attraction strategist, and a multi-millionaire entrepreneur lined up.

More news to come very soon!

Body Language at Work

You can always use body language as a key to success in your work.

Indeed, this is one of the major areas I work with both personal and business clients in.

Whilst there are different forms of communication, such as words, tone of voice, and body language, for this time I want to look at what you can do to make the biggest impression first, and that's with body language.

In research often quoted in NLP, communication has been measured to have the following impact (and for fellow NLP'ers out there, I know there's a whole debate in itself about this):

• 7% are the words that you use – a small percentage, though still vitally important.
• 38% is in the tone of your voice – you may have heard the phrase, 'it's not what you say, it's the way you say it'.
• 55% is accounted for in body language – or as I say when training, 'looking like you mean it'.

Appropriate Body Language during an Interview, Meeting or Presentation

Whilst some say that job interviews can be a nerve-racking experience, by following just a few simple steps, no matter how you're feeling inside, you can be sure your body language will be stating 'super confident, I'm the one for the job!'

Try some of these gestures and body movements during job interviews and notice the difference:

• A firm handshake indicates confidence. Relax on the chair provided for you, but do not slouch. Slouching reflects laziness. Keep your heap up, and lean slightly forward – it say's 'I'm interested.' Place your hands on your lap, and never in your pocket. The hands-in-pocket gesture signifies nervousness, boredom, and dishonesty. As much as possible, do not cross your legs, hands or arms unless your interviewer does, and then don't copy them immediately, but after a few moments. If crossing your legs would help calm your nerves, do so with your body pointed towards the direction of the interviewer. During the conversation, make sure you maintain eye contact to show your interest and eagerness to listen. This does not mean STARE THEM OUT, but for the most part maintain gentle eye contact.

Art of Animation

• Make use of your hands to punctuate or emphasize what you are saying. You will appear stiff if your hands stay on your lap during the entire period of the interview. Hand gestures signify you are honest and knowledgeable of what you are talking about. You can do this while sitting or standing. During a presentation, move around, but walk slowly. The greatest presenters are those who can speak confidently with the right timing of body movements and gestures.

Gestures and Movements to Avoid

 The wrong gestures, done consciously or unconsciously, could give the wrong impression to your boss/potential boss, co-workers, or clients. These may be the reason you get fired! Therefore, you must avoid the following acts of body language:

• Avoid pointing a finger at somebody, especially your boss. Even when you are angry or trying to emphasize a detail pointing simply inflames the situation.
• In meetings, refrain from showing signs of boredom and lack of interest. These signs include arms crossed over the chest, eyes on objects other than the person talking or the presentation itself, yawning, signing, drumming the fingers on the table, or tapping your foot.

Signs That You Are Not Doing a Good Job

If you are the presenter in a meeting or an applicant in a job interview, you must observe the body language of your audience as well. Reading their actions and movements could aid you to be aware of their reactions and if you are doing well.

You would detect if the other party is getting bored if their focus of attention is not on you. This is evident by the absence of eye contact. Observe their hands as well. Even if their eyes are on you, but their hands are busy, it may mean they are thinking of something else. See if their fingers are playing with their pen or drumming on the surface of the table. Boredom is also indicated when the person in front of you begin to slouch back into their chair.

Signs of opposition to your ideas and opinions are also determined when the other party crosses their arms, wrinkle their forehead, and tilt their head.

However, the signs above sometimes do not reflect how someone really feels. What is important is that you know how to prepare yourself in critical times at the workplace.

Remember, whilst we 'read the signs' of how well our communication is being received mostly by body language, we only still have ownership of our own actions. So, if you are not getting the results you want during interviews, or the engagement of delegates during a presentation, the question you need to ask yourself is, 'what am I going to do differently now/next time to get a better result?'

Change The Record!

We’ve all heard of the proverbial scratched record – and I’m not talking vinyl.

Often referred to as our 'story', our 'yada yada yada'. Am I right in saying, sometimes we just don't know when to shut up?

Or even worse, we're rambling on about 'stuff' that's been out of date longer than that can of baked beans hiding away at the back of the cupboard?

The question is; have you become a scratched record? Because if you have, this is your lucky day; the day you finally decide to 'change the record'!

The first step is to begin consciously listening to everything you say. Sounds easy, I know. All I can say is, prepare to be shocked.

A rhetorical question I sometimes offer when coaching people who perform (trainers, actors, presenters) is, 'would I listen to me'? So, begin listening to your 'yada yada yada' today and ask yourself the same question, 'if I were someone else, would I listen to this stuff?

...and the second step; from this moment on if you ever notice yourself slipping into 'blah blah blah' mode, zip it! That's right, if you haven’t got anything constructive, positive, or uplifting to say, simply keep quiet until you do have something constructive, positive, or uplifting to say.

Because the truth is that nobody likes to listen to a moaner. Sure, we might find ourselves agreeing with a particular issue initially, and that's just about being plugged in, having a point of view and real (by-the-way, all are a good thing).

However, a 'broken record' just doesn't know when to shut up, and the longer they go on the more boring they become, and if that 'broken record' is you, eventually other people lose interest and walk away - or even worse, the good people move away leaving you stranded high and dry with other broken record doom-and-gloom merchants, and how depressing is that?!.

So, beginning with the basics: what do you want you want to be saying instead? 'Life is good, life is getting better, I’m looking to the future; my life is going places'? You'll be surprised, when you start the ball rolling with good new things to say, it'll just keep on rolling and attract other positive, like minded 'can do' people into your circle.

Begin playing your 'new record' right away, today. Initially, people may well be confused by your sudden change in tack. Some might ask if you've been on holiday, or (even better) comment how you seem to have lost some weight - and the reality is that 'yes' you are on a holiday... from all the doom and gloom of the old record, and the weight has come off...lifted from your shoulders.

Lighten up, brighten up. Decide on a new record and notice how your world gets your new message right away.

Modelling Excellence

Who do you look up to, admire, want to emulate? In NLP it’s called ‘modelling excellence’. Studying, learning, being inspired by, noticing actions and looking for clues that show you the journey towards success that person has taken.

Modelling excellence is a tried and tested route to accelerating your own success. If the path has been trodden before - and worked - then if you tread a similar path you will achieve a similar result in your own life.

People have used this method to build successful business, learn a new language, get a book deal or recording contract, achieve world records in sport, the list just goes on and on.

If you chose 1 or 2 people to study today, who would you choose? Chose quickly. Don’t think too long, just choose your role model(s) and begin.

Read books, search for inspiration on the internet, if your role model has a website, newsletter or holds events, subscribe and attend. Become aware what their attitude is to life, how they deal with challenges, how they engage with people, and of course how they create their success. People leave clues.

Since I began my coaching career in 2003 my role models included Fiona Harrold, Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy and in business Richard Branson and Warren Buffett. I've read their books, watched interviews, and noticed when they've been involved in the media. When possible I've also attended their workshops and events.

So, who are you going to chose? Remember, modelling is a study, not a copy. You will still be you. You are unique. Once you find 1, 2 or 3 role models to learn from, whether from a book, videos, or if you get the chance in person, your life will change – big time.

Saying It The Way You Want It

I was busy coaching a group of entrepreneurs yesterday on the subject of using clean language, or as I like to put it, 'saying it the way you want it'.

One of the main questions of the session was, 'how do we talk about ourselves in business usually?'

The two most common options are; to be supportive, complementary of who we are and what we do - or to be our own worst critic, first in line to doubt the big idea - shooting down the dream.

Which one are you?

Here are a few examples of what clean language might look like as opposed to the disempowering/mixed messages we sometimes opt for.

• I really believe I’d be great at this. (clean).
• I'm not sure, but I think if all goes well and I don't run out of money first I might be good. (disempowering!!!!).
• I will take these steps because they will lead me forward. (clean).
• I'll try, and if I don't fail who knows where they'll take me. (disempowering!!!!!)
• What I really want to do is this. (clean).
• I don’t know what I want. I did want to do this, but I worry I won’t get support and I'll look a fool and I won’t be any good. (Disempowering!!!!!)

Of course, I accentuated the disempowering phrases, or did I?

The aim is to decide once and for all to only use clean language, 'saying it the way you want it', is a prerequisite for successful business.

Top tips

1. Listen and become aware of how many times you downgrade, belittle or somehow garble what it is you really mean to say - and say just what you mean instead!

2. Make a list of all the negatives you use during normal conversation. 'Can't, won't, don't, shouldn't' etc. Thing is, your unconscious mind doesn't process negatives - it takes everything as a positive; so 'I don't want that' really means, 'I do...' Think about business meetings, deals and general situations where you just haven't got what you actually wanted. did you actually state it clearly, in the positive, exactly what that was?

3. Look at your business & marketing plan and see if it can be written in a more positive, enthusiastic, fun, strong, and energetic way. Plans become reality when we work 'on' them as well as immersing ourselves 'in' them. Remember; they need developing and growing just as surely as you grow and develop.

For more info and top tips on how to clean up your language and 'say it the way you want it' click here for my latest online e-programme 'Communication Skills Upgrade' now.

Brave New World

So we have a new government here in the UK, and with the first official coalition in 70 years, the chance of some new, more consensus politics.

As an NLP trainer I look for clues in body language, the type of words being used, and even the way they're spoken, to indicate what is really being said. What I've noticed since the decision was made yesterday to form a new government is how some people in the political bubble of Westminster have reacted to their new reality.

Gordon Brown, though I'm sure with a heavy heart, looked so much lighter and natural during his resignation speech, as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

David Cameron and Nick Clegg seem to have grown in stature, looking in awe and anticipation to their roles ahead, and whilst it's obvious by the use of body language David Cammeron is in charge, the two men seem very at ease with and liking each other. I think they'll work very well together.

William Hague seems to have grown the most, in that through the various sound bites with media during the negotiations, he showed humility and respect for his position and part in the process with his former opponents.

George Osborne, the new and youngest ever Chancellor of the Exchequer, seems more nervous. I had the opportunity to attend one of his briefings during the election campaign, and whilst proficient and obviously knowledgeable, again he seemed slightly overawed by the occasion/his position.

Finally, Vince Cable - whilst a popular figure in the media, what he didn't say spoke louder than what he did when interviewed about his new position in the cabinet this morning. I'm sure he's grateful to be in government...and do I think he's happy at the prospect of compromising some of his political values? I don't think so.

Whilst Britain has a difficult period ahead in reducing the deficit, the certainty a new government brings to the markets and the country may well make the road ahead easier, and a little lighter to tread.

Let's wish them, and all of us, well.

UK Election Special

Something changed a couple of days ago when Prime Minister and Labour leader Gordon Brown spoke at Methodist Central Hall. Perhaps for the first time he let his usual veneer and fake smile fall, and instead showed potential voters his passion. Always a double edged sword for Gordon, as obvious belief for what he does has so often in the past lit the short fuse towards a temper tantrum.

Knowing how to manage, and channel, passion has been one of the defining factors in this election. With the welcome addition (finally) of The Leader's Debates on television, the rules have changed. It's no longer enough to simply spend the most and run the slickest campaign, with the 'Debates electioneering just got a whole lot more personal.

Nick Clegg, of the Liberal Democrats, initially found it easiest to adjust to the greater 'real-time' scrutiny of the televised debate. Though as the campaign has progressed it's again come back to the message and of what it is he's actually saying. Even the great sound bite 'if you've had enough of the two old parties, then choose us' has a shelf life, and that seems to have coincided with the last Leadership Debate.

Conservative leader, David Cameron, whilst the most eloquent and television friendly, has wisely spent most of the time trying to be seen to be meeting the most 'real people'. Having the 'too posh to win' mantle to live down has been the toughest of all mountains to climb, as most of the population did not go to Eton or become a member of The Bullingdon Club. Many months of rolled-up shirt sleeves, casting aside the jacket, buying and eating snack food from a market trader, being genuinely open to questions in schools, colleges, factory floors, and the like have all been engineered to cement in potential electors minds 'I'm one of you, just like you – it's not where we came from that counts, it's where we're going to instead.' (another sound bite, naturally). Margret Thatcher had a much easier journey to becoming Prime Minister, 'grocer's daughter done good', whereas David coming from perceived privilege and then becoming 'one of the people' – much more difficult.

So, back to Gordon; his infamous short fuse, fake smile that fools no one, lack of natural interpersonal skills, and 14 years of experience/baggage notwithstanding, by just letting his hair down and throwing caution to the wind over the past 2 or 3 days and telling people not only what he wants, but more crucially why it means so much to him, might now be about to stage the biggest political comeback in recent history.

…and who do I want and think might win?

Conservative/ Labour, in that order.