Why?

When training new coaches, I suggest they take 'why' questions out of their repertoire, at least for a while, and only to put them back in when they know how to use them more sparingly, with greater effect. This is also true for most of us, in that we ask 'why' far too much because:

1. It's one of those easy, over used questions we ask when we can't think of a better question.

2. 'Why' questions usually emanate from childhood - can you remember asking an adult 'why, why, why, why...' before finally they replied tersely 'just because'? As an adult, we should use a broader range of questioning techniques, such as 'what/how/when' that invite a broader answer.

3. Asking a 'why' question can often prompt a justification type answer from the other person. There are times in life when having to justify ourselves is relevant, however in normal, relaxed conversation 'why' can put someone on the defensive, having to justify, when that was needed.

'Why', whilst being a small word, is very strong, and as such should be treated with respect and only used when truly needed. One such time, when 'why' can be a brilliant catalyst for understanding, growth and change, is in business planning. (more)