How Well Do You Listen?

As a coach & business trainer one of the most important skills to develop is level three listening skills. As a business owner and networker, you also need to have brilliant listening skills, including level three listening, simply because you will hear, and be heard more - and with those skills you will be able to identify and provide an even better quality of business.

• Level 1 listening is where you simply have a conversation, listening to the other person only enough for you to then continue saying what you want to say, or sell what you want to sell. In level one listening, you attach your own meaning to what they are saying.

• Level 2 listening requires you to actually listen to the other person and respond to their worries, points of view and outlook on the world. With level two listening, you ask for clarification - what they mean by what they've just said.

• Level 3 is where you are not only ‘plugged in’ to what they are saying, but also listening for clues as to what they are not saying. Levels 1 & 2 give you the opportunity to address what is brought to the table in a conversation, and level 3 enables you to understand what may not have been said.

Quick steps to develop level 3 listening

1. ALWAYS begin conversation in level 1, and move through level 2 and towards level 3. Never go straight for level 3 – you’ll freak the person you're speaking to out!
2. A level 1 question is the usual ‘how you doing’ introductory type question.
3. Level 2 are the clarifying questions to understand the other person better e.g: ‘Tell me what you mean by confidence/motivation/feeling flat/need encouraging’ (with level 1 listening you’d simply attach your own meaning, which might not be what they meant).
4. Level 3 is where you feed back what they’ve said, paraphrasing, and looking for agreement…or disagreement. You’re also noticing body language and tonality and checking congruency, e.g:

• ‘I’m noticing a little movement here…’
• ‘I’m sensing there’s shifting sand, am I right?’
• So, if there was a fly in the ointment right now, what would it be?’

Developing level 3 listening skills will help you understand and know more about the people you network and do business with, and most importantly, those same people will know that you really listen to them – and that will separate you from everyone else they meet.